For many Filipinos, helping family financially feels non-negotiable. When someone calls asking for help, the instinct is to act immediately—often without checking whether doing so puts one’s own finances at risk.
But Registered Financial Planner Janet Sabitsana says this well-meaning reflex is exactly what keeps many Filipino families financially fragile.
“People think the choice is either help or don’t help,” Sabitsana says. “What they don’t realize is that the real issue is how they help—and whether they are financially stable enough to help in the first place.”
Sabitsana uses what she calls the financial oxygen mask framework, a simple way to explain why Filipinos must secure their own financial foundation before taking on the financial needs of others.
The Oxygen Mask Rule, Applied to Money
The concept is borrowed from airline safety instructions: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
“In an emergency, you’re told to secure your own oxygen mask first, not because you’re selfish, but because you’ll pass out if you don’t,” Sabitsana explains. “Financially, the same rule applies. If you are unstable, uninsured, or drowning in debt, you cannot sustainably help anyone.”
She says many Filipinos skip this step entirely.
“They go straight to helping others without checking if they even have an emergency fund or insurance. That’s like trying to save someone else while you yourself can’t breathe.”
Why Many Filipinos Skip Their Own Safety Net
Sabitsana says cultural expectations play a big role.
“There is this idea that taking care of yourself financially is optional, but helping family is mandatory,” she says. “So people delay building their own safety net year after year.”
The result is a dangerous imbalance.
“I see clients who have helped relatives pay hospital bills, tuition, or daily expenses—but they themselves have no health insurance, no savings, and no backup plan. They are one crisis away from financial collapse.”
The First Layer: Emergency Fund
According to Sabitsana, the first part of the financial oxygen mask is an emergency fund.
“Before you help anyone, you should have money set aside for emergencies—job loss, illness, unexpected expenses,” she says. “If helping someone means touching your emergency fund, then you are not financially ready to help.”
She emphasizes that this fund is not a luxury.
“An emergency fund is not extra money. It is protection. Without it, every small problem becomes a major crisis.”
The Second Layer: Insurance Protection
Next comes insurance—something many Filipinos overlook.
“A lot of people tell me, ‘I don’t need insurance because my family will help me,’” Sabitsana says. “But that thinking puts pressure on the very people you’re trying to protect.”
She believes insurance is a critical part of being financially responsible.
“Health insurance and life insurance are your financial shock absorbers. They prevent emergencies from wiping out your savings or forcing your family to raise money for you.”
Without insurance, she adds, helping others becomes risky.
“If you get sick tomorrow and you have no coverage, all the money you gave away before will suddenly matter.”
The Third Layer: Managing Debt and Cash Flow
Sabitsana says people often underestimate the impact of debt on their ability to help.
“Some clients are helping relatives while paying high-interest credit card debt or personal loans,” she says. “That means they are borrowing at a high cost just to appear helpful.”
She calls this a silent financial drain.
“When your cash flow is already stretched, helping others only increases the pressure. You end up stressed, resentful, and financially stuck.”
The Fourth Layer: Long-Term Planning
Only after the basics are in place—emergency fund, insurance, manageable debt—does Sabitsana encourage helping others more actively.
“Long-term savings and investing are part of your oxygen mask,” she explains. “They ensure that you don’t become dependent on others later in life.”
She warns that skipping this step often leads to future regret.
“Many people wake up in their 40s or 50s and realize they spent decades helping everyone else, but no one prepared them for retirement.”
Helping From Strength, Not Fear
Sabitsana says the goal is not to stop helping family, but to help from a position of strength.
“When your financial oxygen mask is secure, you help with clarity,” she says. “You know how much you can give, how often, and when you need to say no.”
This clarity, she adds, reduces guilt and conflict.
“You stop helping out of panic or obligation. You start helping intentionally—and that changes everything.”
A Healthier Way Forward
Ultimately, Sabitsana believes that the oxygen mask framework benefits not just individuals, but entire families.
“When one person becomes financially stable, it sets a standard,” she says. “It shows the family that helping does not mean self-destruction.”
Her message to Filipinos is simple but firm.
“You are not selfish for securing your future. You are responsible. And when you are responsible, you can help others in a way that actually lasts.”
