“If you don’t design your life, someone—or something—else will.”
That’s the first thing Dennis Sy, author of Design Your Life, wants you to remember. Because if you’re not actively shaping your future, you might be living out someone else’s plan—whether that’s family pressure, cultural expectations, or just the daily grind pulling you along.
And according to Sy, there are three kinds of people in the world:
People who live by default.
People who live by design.
People who haven’t yet realized they need to live by design.
The good news? You can make the shift—starting today.
Stop Letting Other People Write Your Story
Living by default isn’t always obvious. You might be earning well, ticking the boxes society expects, and still feel something’s missing.
“It’s the difference between being a passenger in your own story and being an active author,” Sy says.
His own turning point came during the pandemic. With the world slowed down, he reflected on his decision years earlier to leave the family business and choose a path that matched his identity—not just what others expected.
“I had to face the fact that life is short—and too valuable to drift through,” he says.
Start With the Most Important Question: Who Are You?
In Design Your Life, Sy introduces the 6 P Framework—Personhood, Purpose, Pain, Power, Preparation, and Partnership. And there’s a reason Personhood comes first.
“Clarity about who you are comes before clarity about what you do,” he explains. “I call this the BE before you do.”
Before making big choices, get clear on your values, strengths, and the problems you feel called to solve. Without that, you risk building a life that looks impressive but feels empty.
Small Shifts That Put You Back in Control
Redesigning your life doesn’t mean you have to quit your job tomorrow or move across the country. Sy believes small, consistent actions can break the drift:
Regular reflection – Take time to check if your actions match your values.
Clear boundaries – Say no to opportunities that don’t align with your purpose.
Life-giving rhythms – Make time for things that energize you: exercise, rest, spiritual reflection, meaningful relationships.
“The goal is not just to survive the days but to design them so they point toward your desired future,” Sy says.
Trade “Busyness” for “Movement with Meaning”
Many people stay in constant motion—meetings, deadlines, endless to-do lists—without moving toward what really matters. Sy calls this movement without meaning.
True fulfillment comes from movement with meaning: actions that align with your bigger purpose. And that requires stepping back from the noise and making intentional choices.
Push Back on the Pressure
Designing your life sometimes means going against the grain. That might feel uncomfortable, especially when family or cultural traditions expect something else from you.
“Choosing a path that made sense for who I was, not just what was expected of me, was one of the best decisions I made,” Sy shares.
This isn’t about rejecting every outside opinion—it’s about filtering advice through your purpose, so you’re still in the driver’s seat.
The Payoff of Living by Design
A well-designed life isn’t perfect, but it’s aligned. Your values, decisions, and actions match. You’re engaged in work that matters, your relationships are healthy, and your resources are managed with intention.
And the ripple effect? “A well-designed life doesn’t just change you, it impacts everyone around you,” Sy says.
Your Next Step
If you’ve been drifting, today’s the day to start steering. Block out time this week to reflect on what you value most. Set one boundary. Take one small action toward the future you want.
“You have one life, and it’s too valuable to live by default,” Sy says. “Design it with intention.”
Discover how to create a life that aligns with your deepest values in Dennis Sy’s book, Design Your Life. Available now for readers ready to live with clarity, courage, and conviction.
