Money is one of the biggest sources of tension in relationships. Left unchecked, financial stress can turn into constant arguments—or worse, a breakup. But here’s the thing: it’s not about how much you earn—it’s about how well you manage it together.
“Money issues are among the biggest reasons why marriages fail. If couples cannot agree on how to handle money, it can cause serious friction,” says Randell Tiongson, a Registered Financial Planner.
Want to keep financial stress from ruining your relationship? Here’s how to get on the same page—before money becomes a problem.
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Have the Money Talk—Before It’s Too Late
Avoiding money conversations? That’s a red flag. Financial stress creeps in when couples don’t align on spending, saving, or financial priorities.
“A couple should always communicate openly about money. Financial dishonesty or secrets can create deep trust issues,” says Tiongson.
Be upfront about your finances—debts, income, money habits—so there are no surprises later. Make money check-ins a regular habit, not just something you talk about during a crisis.
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Decide on a Money System That Works for Both of You
Should you combine finances or keep them separate? There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. What matters is that both partners feel comfortable and accountable.
“It’s not about whether you combine finances or not—it’s about being aligned with your financial goals as a couple,” says Tiongson.
Agree on who pays what, how much to save, and how to handle big purchases together. The key is transparency and teamwork.
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Handle Debt as a Team
Debt can be a major stressor—especially if one partner has more than the other. But instead of playing the blame game, treat it as a shared challenge.
“Debt should be a shared responsibility. Instead of pointing fingers, work together to pay it off and avoid unnecessary borrowing,” says Tiongson.
Make a realistic debt-payoff plan and commit to avoiding new debt unless absolutely necessary.
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Set Financial Goals Together—And Stick to Them
Saving for a home? Investing for retirement? Planning a dream vacation? Shared goals make financial decisions easier.
Talk about your long-term priorities as a couple and create a game plan to reach them. The sooner you start working toward common goals, the less likely money will become a source of stress.
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Keep Some Financial Independence
Even in the strongest marriages, having personal spending money can prevent arguments over small purchases.
“It’s important to have some financial autonomy. This helps maintain a sense of individual control while still being financially responsible as a couple,” says Tiongson.
A little financial independence allows each partner to make personal choices—without feeling guilty or asking for permission.
The Bottom Line
Money can either bring couples closer—or drive them apart. The difference? Communication, planning, and teamwork.
Be open, set clear financial goals, and work together. At the end of the day, it’s not about how much money you make—it’s about how well you manage it as a team.
This article includes quotes from an original piece by Randell Tiongson, published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer.
